Finir par mordre

I (Picturesss) In a desperate attempt to get rid of his lisp, his mother brought him to a speech therapist. Mrs de l’archiduchesse would give him small pictures in the form of cards and stickers to reward him for every significant improvement. On his way home he would slowly chew the pictures. Starting from the right-hand corner, he ate photos of cats and birds, pictures of Zinedine Zidane, and reproductions of Dutch paintings depicting more than five fruits and vegetables. II (30 Signs) According to the videos she’d been watching on her work computer, there were 10 signs she was in a toxic relationship, at least 8 signs her partner was a highly sensitive person, they shared all 7 signs of high functioning anxiety, which she knew could be related to the well-known 5 hidden signs of depression. Also, she wondered “why do mosquitos bite me and not my friends?” and “can you overdose on vitamin C?” and “why does my pee smell like asparagus?” and “why do my fingers bleed even before I bite them?” III (Falling Skies) The old man who lived on the ground floor told reporters he had never heard about this new “Floorboard Challenge” trending among young adults. The challenge consisted in hiding your own dead body under the floorboards of your apartment. The old man said he was mostly annoyed with his insurance company refusing to pay for the large hole in the ceiling above the Jacuzzi tub he had bought after five years of saving up his pension. The tub was filled with rubble and millennials. IV (Love & Sundaes) They were already halfway to the cinematheque but they couldn’t get over the fear of the potential bedbugs left by previous visitors in such a dark environment. The Uber driver turned around and they went home to watch the film on their own screen. Equipped with buckets of ice cream - rushsugarushrushsugarush, they stayed up all night and made love and sundaes. Hot fudge, double fudge, turtle, knickerbocker glory, butterscotch and other heated varieties. “You asked for love, I gave you only descriptions.”